Top 3 Strategies to use with Defiant Kids

Sometimes, ok, oftentimes, our children do not behave the way we want them to.  They jump on the furniture, throw balls in the house, touch all of the items on the shelf at the grocery store, and are constantly on detention at school for their misconduct.  Our children might even throw tantrums or resort to hitting when they don't get their way.  It can be difficult to distinguish typical misbehavior and the assertion of one's own independence from Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).  Here are some strategies to use with children who have ODD:

(1)  Encourage your child to use "I" statements.  With younger children, practice using "I" statements and role play with the use of puppets.  Puppets help children to feel less threatened and more willing to take ownership and to tell the truth in difficult circumstances.

 (2)  Try not to engage in arguments with your child.  Oftentimes, parents will continue to question their child when they catch them in a lie.  This can lead to an argument between parent and child.

(3)  Introduce positive coping skills of deep breathing, taking a walk, closing your eyes and counting to ten,etc, for your child to use when he/she is feeling frustrated and is about to lose his/her temper.

Most of all, it is important to keep the lines of communication open, and let your child know that you are there to listen, support and guide him/her into making positive choices.

Living with ADHD

Does your child have a difficult time being successful in school and at home?  Perhaps he makes careless mistakes on his homework, yet you know that he really does understand the material.  While at home, he takes a long time to clean his room and cannot sit still at the dinner table.  At the same time, his teacher may report that he is fidgety in the classroom and cannot remain at his desk.  Your child could be suffering from ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

ADHD not only affects the classroom and home environment.  It can also affect your child’s social development-their ability to maintain friendships.  It is reported that children with a history of ADHD are almost 10 times as likely to have difficulties with friendships (Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011).

Here are some suggestions for helping your son/daughter manage his/her symptoms of ADHD:

1.  Encourage your child to double check her work before she turns it in.  Review the homework with your child.

 2.  Write down the steps involved in cleaning your child’s room and put up the list in a place where she can easily refer back to it, as needed.

 3.  Eliminate distractions (television, phone calls, music) at dinner time in order to help your child focus.

 4.  During homework time, allow your child to take breaks in timed increments.  She can do a physical activity (such as running around the block or walking around in the backyard) and then return to her assignment.

 5.  Decrease the amount of time your child spends on video games.  Research shows that playing video games increases the likelihood of ADHD among children.

Reference list:

Center for Disease Control and Prevention. (December 2011). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. CDC. Retrieved August 18, 2012, from http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/data.html/