Beat the bully
Tuesday, December 23, 2014 at 10:51AM
Tara Dyson, Child Therapist

Beat the bully..These words can mean two different things and parents actually teach their children 1 of 2 ways to beat the bully.  In fact, 20% of Kindergarteners are bullies.  As a result, there are those that teach the importance of self-defense and encourage standing up for oneself.  Then, there are those parents who teach their children an alternate, courageous approach: walking away and disengaging in the power struggle to dominate the payground of school hallways.

Regardless of which approach is taught, it still remains a struggle to watch your child endure the menacing words and tyrannical ways of a bully.  I must admit that I, myself, have encouraged my child to use her words to defend herself.  Yet if the other student continued to push her, I subtly permitted her to beat the bully-defend herself by pushing back and getting ready for whatever was coming next. 

At some point, we can no longer teach our children to beat the bully by using physical defensive tactics.  There are those bullies who simply use harsh words to diminish the self-esteem of our children.  We cannot encourage violence just because our children don’t like what is being said of them or to them.  Whereas bullying remains a widespread epidemic, there are some practical ways in which we can teach our children to handle bullying without actually beating the bully:

(1)   Encourage the use of “I feel” statements so that your child will learn to express his emotions.

(2)   Stand up for herself.  It’s ok for your child to call bullying what it is and then proceed to keep her lunch money and protect her belongings.

(3)   Set aside time to ask your child how his day was at school so that you can be aware of any physical or verbal abuse that may be going on.

(4)   Build up your child’s self-esteem through positive praise and acknowledgment of her accomplishments.

(5)   Advocate for your child if she is being harassed at school and cannot speak up for herself.

 

Reference list:

Education.com (March 2012) 6 ways to protect kindergartners and preschoolers from bullying.  Retrieved December 23, 2014, from http://www.education.com/reference/article/preschool-kindergarten-bullies/

 

Article originally appeared on tara dyson (http://www.thechildtherapist.org/).
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